Testimonials

These are actual testimonials that could have been written by actual real visitors if they had actually visited the actual playground…

“There was a passage of time in which during that passage of time I was given the opportunity to write the above introductory paragraph while I was in a small country that is next to a very mean large country.” – Unknown

“The apodictic rule of not allowing children under 18 is obviously discriminatory ageism, and …xenophobic, racist, and sexist and you probably hate cute little puppies with big eyes. Besides, I would have felt very unsafe and, and, terrified with my seventh little precious daughter named… ummm, that’s unimportant… playing with sharp sticks, poisonous leaves and germ infested rocks at your establishment… and don’t accuse me of pleonasm, the use of too many words, I say exactly what I mean to say and I don’t just ramble on just because I need to make my point heard and YOU need to be accountable for acknowledging my feelings… now, I feel offended.. I need to talk to your manager… NOW!” – Ms. Karen (Precious) Dekaren-Unhinged

“I thoroughly enjoyed the time to variegate various oddments and armamentarium in your craft studio. It was like my own little snuggery. Time just flew by and next thing I knew, it was mid October… Thanks for providing this heuristic service.” – The Pikachu Dunjun Master

“So many things to see; very eudaemonic setting. A totally optical experience! Epic! A game changer! I’ll be back soon to find the many hidden easter eggs in this tohubohu scattered along the trails. Next time, I’ll definitely bring my glasses to compensate for my 60-60 vision. “See” you soon.” – The Carrot Consumer

“As a self proclaimed “habile” disc golf player, the competition and raillery of my fellow golfers was just plain neato. The inimitable course was so challenging that I only had to take home 3 of the 27 discs I started out with. I’ll be back after my next Amazon delivery to my mother’s basement”… Dirk “The Disc” Lefthanderman

“The sprezzatura of the eclectic, puerile proprietor of this property amazed me. He has either afflatus genius or is just not all together upstairs and doesn’t spend enough time sleeping… I vote for the latter.” – Sigmund Jung

“Being a pangloss, it was quite the nisus to muster the energy to get from one resting place to the next one several hundred inches away. Thank goodness for all the daybeds to kick back, enjoy what nature has to display and come up with a deep quodlibet to ponder without falling asleep.” – Pat “Chris” Nielsberg (’62 Olympic Participation Award winner in Non-Gendered Decathlon)

“This website is like totally way too big worded! And there’s NO naked pictures! This site sucks. (Insert Poop emoji here) I’m giving it ZERO stars on Yelp!!!!!! 😦 I’m going back to TicToc.” – Name Withheld by Request

“The large games are the greatest of all games, best there has ever been. Believe me. Never been like this these before. The small ones are disasters. Total disasters. You know it, they know it. Pretty much everyone knows it. Ask anyone. The big games are really, really fantastic. Highest approval rating ever. Never been that high. The others are losers. Total losers. Believe me. Make large games great again.” – Unknown

“I found the shooting range deeply disturbing.” – A. Lincoln